i'll tell you what - my high school career has been royally fucked up but never endingly interesting, never a dull moment.

the best year of my short life has been ninth grade. it just seemed that the world was wide open that year and i'm not sure why. for the first time i actually made friends, no one ever wanted to talk to me let alone look at me in middle school.

ah how pathetic i must sound now.

what a shock came when sophomore year rolled around - no longer was i a kid but someone growing up and having to change for the world. the high school that had once been salvation turned into a place of torture , a place i could not stand to look at every day. i failed most classes that year, i did nothing during most of it.

briefly quoting duncan sheik (shudders), "happiness is never how you think it should be so"

i think that sums up high school.

i've got only 19 months left until graduation. it shouldn't be all that bad. might as well enjoy it while its still there.

but i can't wait until college.

violence out

-vk

i am in love with a man. well, not in love (i've been in love) this is more of a before love type thing. my guy's name is justin, i have to post this on another blog because i dont want him to see how much i like him. i'm afraid it will scare him off, i really don't wanna loose him, i've waited so long for the right person to come along and now he's here...

he worries me, he doesn't care about his own life. he's always saying how if he died he wouldn't care, well if he died i would sure as hell care and would never get over it. he does drugs and i worry about his safety, i care so much about him but he doesn't care about himself at all. could he see things through my eyes just once?

whatever. i can't do a damned thing about it. i want him to be happy, you know...

-vk